January 2009 Archives

Any video titled "Chain Letter Trailer" has got to be a viral video spoof, right? Yeah that's what i thought too, but no, tunrs out that Chain Letter is an actual for-real movie. It stars some chick from Twilight (I'm not retarded so I didn't actually see Twilight) and the gist is that some guy is killing people who don't forward on his chain letter. Riveting.

The "You've Got Mail" voice at the beginning AND at the end is the real clincher. AOL users are a bigger target audience than I realized.

"If U Seek Amy" Fan Video

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Over on the Britney Spears official blog this pretty kickass fan video for "If You Seek Amy" was posted today. It's really well done as far as fan vids go, and this song is all the rage right now anyway. Britney's official Italian website is stating that filming for the for-real video will start on February 10th. In the meantime, enjoy.

The inner-sleeve for Morrissey's new single "I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris" was released today via Morrissey-solo. It features Morrissey and crew in the nude. It's like seeing your dad naked, except 100% less gross and 200% more sexy.

Oh to be a set dresser on that day...

The single will be officially released on February 9th.

i'm throwing my arms around paris

meganf.jpg

Despite blog post after blog post all week across the internet, the Daily News is reporting that Transformers actress Megan Fox has not been cast as Angelina Jolie's replacement as Lara Croft in the next Tomb Raider movie.

"Megan is not involved in this movie," her rep said.

They say that she's turning down the role in order to prove she's not trying to be the next Saint Angie. Is there proof that she was ever offered the role in the first place? The makeup to cover that god-awful Marilyn Monroe tattoo of hers alone would have put the film over budget.

MCR Desolation Row Video

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Featured on the soundtrack for the upcoming film The Watchmen is a My Chemical Romance cover of Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row". As someone who absolutely lives for cover songs, this one is just kinda giving off a "meh" vibe. If it wasn't for the film, I don't think this would show up on anyone's radar.

Gerard Way looks halfway decent in the video though. That's the nicest I can say about that.

Judge for yourself:

Desolation Row

bonnieandclyde.jpg

In what could possibly be the most shocking news of the century, a recent comment by actress Faye Dunnaway reveals that she isn't a Hilary Diff fan. The world has collectively clutched their pearl chokers in shock!

The Chicago Sun-Times asked Mommie Dearest what she thought of Hilary Duff being cast as Bonnie Parker in the remake of the classic film Bonnie & Clyde. Her answer:

"Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?"

The original 1967 film starring Faye and Mr. Warren Beatty won two Academy Awards and was nominated for eight others. Faye needs to watch the smack talk though, because I seem to remember her performance in a little gem called Supergirl that demonstrated no acting skill at all.

Hilary Duff not a real actress? Clearly someone hasn't seen A Cinderella Story. Gold I tell you!

moz onstage

The 2009 Coachella music festival lineup which takes place in Southern California every year was just announced. Highlights include Morrissey on Friday followed by headliner Sir Paul McCartney, Amy Winehouse (omg, omg, omg, omg!!!) followed by headliners The Killers on Saturday and Amanda Palmer, Lupe Fiasco and Perry Farrell followed by headliners The Cure on Sunday. I just died and went to musical heaven.

See you bitches in the desert in April!

coachella 2009 lineup

ali lohan

Ali Lohan, the sister you forgot Lindsay Lohan had, posed for photographer Jonathan Ressler in the middle of Times Square yesterday. The photos are to be part of Ressler's Extraordinary Women photo project.

Oh his website, Ressler states:

Shot across the world, these portraits capture the extraordinary character of each of the subjects. Some of the subjects being Poets, ballet dancers, actresses, artists, executives and teachers - these women come from all corners, each making her own mark on history.

From this mission statement, I assume we are to conclude that Ali Lohan's character consists of being extraordinarily not sexy. Not only do the pictures scream "Are you sure this isn't a 45 year old soccer mom's Glamor Shots?" they also reinforce the fact that Ali is barely D-list famous for being nothing other than Lindsay Lohan's much older looking younger sister If that 's that defines "making her own mark on history" then someone needs to go update Wikipedia right now.

I wonder how much Dina paid to get Ali on this list. Long Island's Mother Of The Year! She should have spent a little extra and got a make-up artist to cover those tan lines. Grody!

alilohan2.jpg

The new video for Kelly Clakson's single "My Life Would Suck Without You" is out. The title is about as retarded as they come, but the song itself it catchy and upbeat. And lets face it, no one has ever done the throwing clothes out of a window thing in a music video before. This is originality at it's finest. Soak it in kiddies.

speidi.jpg

Super douchenozzle Spencer Pratt and the vapid vagina that's constantly on his arm named Heidi Montag went shopping at the dollar store yesterday. In an obvious paid-for photo op the couple posed with roses, candy and other crap presumptuously to promote the party they are hosting in Las Vegas for Valentines Day.

They'll be at PURE Nightclub in Ceasar's Palace. If you are adverse to 99¢ hair extensions and fake reality tv show marriages, it's probably best to party elsewhere that night.

I know it's not the most popular opinion in the world, but I actually like Scarlett Johansson's singing voice. She reminds me of a cross between Elizabeth Fraser of Cocteau Twins fame and Norah Jones with a little Ann Wilson thrown in. Shoot me, I know you want to. I can't be a hater all the time you know, it's exhausting!

This cover of Jeff Buckley's "Last Goodbye" has a whole lot less of the post-production done on her album "Anywhere I Lay My Head" in that you can actually hear her singing this time. If you are going to cover Tom Waits, have the balls not to hide behind filters.

In December of last year Scarlett told MTV that she planned on doing a follow up album of all original material.

I enjoyed the song. Most people won't. Here you go:

hasselbeck

This morning on everyone's favorite ovary overload The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck announced that she is pregnant with her third child.

"I'm pregnant again! I'm due in August."

"We were thoroughly happy with the surprise of it," she added.

Elisabeth and her husband Tim already have two children together, a 3 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. Congratulations to the couple, and really, to America. Anything that keeps Elisabeth off the air for long periods of time is good news for everyone.

164 years ago today Edgar Allen Poe's poem "The Raven" was published in the New York Evening Mirror. The rest, as they say, is history. So in honor of arguably Poe's most famous work, ohsorad.com brings you the Top 10 Raven Haired Celebrities.

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door

Here we go...

10. Solange Knowles
solange

Did you see her hair in the "Sandcastle Disco" video? I know bitches who would kill other bitches to have hair like that just for one day. I'd be willing to stab someone for an hour with those curls. Love everything about her hair!

9. Megan Fox
megan fox

Her light eyes just make her hair stand out more. Whether you think she's an Angelina Jolie lookalike or not, there's no denying that her long, strait and dark hair is attention grabbing. Not so much as her boobs, but it wouldn't be, right?

8. Adrien Brody

adrien brody

Oscar winner Adrien Brody can come ride my Darjeeling Limited any day of the week, just so long as he promises not to comb his hair and keeps it in his face, just a little. With a short, lighter haircut he wouldn't be nearly as attractive.

7. Vanessa Hudgens

vanessa hudgens

The High School Musical star has hair that would make exotic beauty jealous. Her Irish, Native American, Filipina, Spanish, and Chinese ancestry make for some seriously great hair, teeny bopper or not.

6. Rachel Weisz
rachel weisz

More people would have gone to see the third installment of The Mummy has Rachel been it it, no matter how much it sucked. Because she's hot and hot chicks are a big draw at the box office. Her hair is really cute and polished without being over the top, always frames her face well.

5. Salma Hayek
salma hayek

The Frida actress is probably the hottest chick on this list. Who didn't swoon when she had her hair in pigtails as a stripper in Dogma or even with the side part in Lonely Hearts. No matter what she does to it, her hair always looks fantastic. The rest of her isn't so bad either.

4. Rihanna
rihanna

Rarely has anyone been able to pull off such a short haircut as Rihanna. She can sing, she can dance and she's got a hairdo that women all over are trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to emulate.

3. Daniel Henney
daniel henney

My ultimate celebrity crush. South Korean actor and model, you'll see him soon in X-Men Origins: Wolverine as Agent Zero. He was in a Coca-Cola commercial a couple of years ago with Zhang Ziyi, and while I don't know what the hell is going on in it, I do know that his hair looks absolutely fabulous. More please!

2. Lily Allen
lily allen

Some people were just meant to have dark hair, and Lily Allen is one of them. It makes her cute little face stand out, and no matter what makeup she puts on or what fantastic dress she's wearing, her hair is the perfect compliment.

1. Dita Von Teese
dita von teese

Dita just wouldn't be Dita without her dark hair. The burlesque entertainer and Playboy legend would be no where as pin-uppy or as much of a throw-back beauty without her signature pitch black hair. It's enough to make you forget she was married to Marilyn Manson. Sorry for bringing it up, but rest assured I'm gagging too.

The Watchmen Movie Poster

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watchmen poster

The final poster for the movie The Watchmen has been released via Yahoo. Do you see what I see? Seems Dr. Manhattan paid a little visit to the underwear department, and went with a high rise black bikini. The blue guy, played by Billy Crudup, doesn't look Photoshopped in there at all. Good work guys!

I don't know, I'm thinking I liked the teaser poster a little better. Bloody happy faces just do it for me. But chant with me now... March 6th, March 6th, March 6th!

Britney Spears is here to answer the question, just how low can pants get? Posted on her official blog are rehearsal pictures for her upcoming Circus Tour.

britney's rehearsal.jpg

Thank the good lord in heaven that there's no visible c-section scar, but at what point do pants stop being pants and just become really long leg warmers? Maybe the answer will be on Brit's tour. The creepy stalker pic from between two pillars is totally unnecessary, she knew the pic was being taken. We know that she knew, and her handlers knew too because they put it on her website. So confusing.

britney's rehearsal.jpg

jessica simpson

Ashlee Simpson is all pissed off that peeps is calling her sister plump. Ash must have a combination of Wentz goo and baby puke in her eye because she thinks her sister Jessica Simpson is a size 2. She took it to her myspace and wrote:

Since when did a woman's weight become newsworthy...

I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.

All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.

Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?

I seriously doubt it.

How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?

Now can we focus on the things that really matter.

Yes, if my grandma stuffed her self sausage-style into jeans with a 12 inch zipper and moo-mooed across a chili cookoff stage, as a matter of fact I would call her fat. Especially if she was telling me to tell people she was a size 2. What you got to say now Ashlee? Oh, and you better lay off the cornbread darling, clearly the swollen gene runs in your family.

Coming soon to a Nintendo Wii near you is the new Indiana Jones game Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings. Set during the time period of the first three films, we get a younger Indy and not the alien chaser from Crystal Skull. Thank God! Lots of familiar settings and the use of a whip, sounds pretty fun. If it'll actually look like this on the Wii, bonus.

Word on the street is that Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings will be released for the Nintendo DS and PSP as well.

avril lavigne

Avril Lavigne is a 24 year old married woman. I feel this is necessary to point out because she's dressing up in the clothes she's trying to sell and they make her look like an 10 year old white trash prostitute. The "Sk8er Boi" singer is selling these swap meet knock offs at Kohls department stores if you happen to be in the market for prepubescent white trash hooker apparel.

She claims to have worked closely with the design team to help create the outfits. Picture a windowless room where Avril and a guy in clown pants are both freebasing glitter Play-Doh, and you'll have the design process. Prices range from $24 to $48. You know, in case you need to pick up something nice for a date with your husband.

avril lavigne

PETA. Rarely have four letter conjured up such a picture of crazy asshatness as p, e, t and a. Their "ethical treatment of animals" message is good and all, their execution of getting the message out there is ridic. I mean, Sea Kittens, really?

Now they have a commercial called Veggie Love that NBC will not run during the Super Bowl. Banned! PETA says it's too sexy. Millions of other people say it's too desperate and gross. Implied sex with asparagus. Pumpkin humping. And who the hell says vegetarians have better sex? I'd like to see that study, because clearly the brainaics behind that one have never thanked a significant other for bringing them and In-N-Out Double Double Cheeseburger with no onions. Talk about yummy!

PETA lists NBC's specific list of concerns over the ad as:


  • licking pumpkin
  • touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli
  • pumpkin from behind between legs
  • rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin
  • screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy)
  • asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina
  • licking eggplant
  • rubbing asparagus on breast

I noticed no eggplant, but I'm no expert commercial watcher for NBC. I did notice the huge "Pay Attention to Me" sign though.


'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

Beyoncé Is Richer Than You

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beyonce

Forbes.com recently put out their list of The Best-Paid Celebs Under 30. Topping the list is Queen B herself, Beyoncé Knowles. At 27 years old Beyoncé made a whopping $80 million last year. You must not know about her, she can have another you in a minute! She's probably paying for clones right now. Here's to feeling a little better about downloading that bootleg of "Single Ladies" last month.

The rest of the Top 10 earners last year are:

Justin Timberlake - $43 million
Kobe Bryant - $39 million
LeBron James - $38 million
Roger Federer - $35.2 million
Keira Knightley - $32.2 million
Maria Sharapova - $26.1 million
Daniel Radcliffe - $25.1 million
Miley Cyrus - $25.1 million
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - $15 million

Who knew tennis was so lucrative? brb, going to buy a racket. Double points to the store that has a tennis racket with Beyoncé's face on it.

lilo on the beach

In response to recent speculation that Lindsay Lohan is getting too skinny, Page Six is quoting her rep as stating:

"Lindsay is aware that she's lost some weight due to stress, but we recently did a photo shoot and she ate two full meals."

So see guys, she's fine. I mean, a glass of Slim Fast counts as a meal and while I've never heard of a 2 week long photoshoot that doesn't mean they don't happen. She's fine, don't worry.

teri hatcher at the sag awards

Something is going on with Teri Hatcher's face. I mean, aside from it's usual nastiness. The Desperate Housewives actress was at the SAG Awards in Los Angeles last night in a one shouldered white Monique Lhuillier gown. Smiling for the cameras, her nose really looked a bit off. Literally, like it was about to fall off. One nostril is a completely different shape than the other, like two entirely different noses.

I've spent the past 20 minutes in the mirror trying different poses and facial expressions in an attempt to recreate this nostril contortion. Couldn't do it. I honestly don't remember her nose looking like this when she elbowed me out of her way in a gifting lounge at Sundance a couple of years ago, but it's possible I was just too amazed at what a Grade A Bitch she was to notice.

If she weighs more than 75 pounds I might die of shock. More plastic surgery might not be the answer here, but there's got to be some make-up trick that can be done to distract from what's going on centerfield there.

lisa rinna at the sag awards

Let's ignore Lisa Rinna's trout mouth for a minute and talk about the earrings she wore at the SAG Awards in Los Angeles last night. They look heavy and painful. Like someone broke into my grandmother's house, broke apart that cheesy faux-crystal chandelier she has hanging in the kitchen and made earrings out of them totally last minute for the actress to wear. Not a fan.

The dress wasn't all that great either. Sleeves, meh, boring but whatever. That slit though. Up to the bikini line, really? It's a wonder the photographers on the red carpet didn't all have to pause to collectively gag down the puke when she stopped to pose. The red is a great color, but that slit, ew.

Trout mouth or not, there's no excuse for that Lisa Rinna.

lisa rinna

Explain Paris

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osr presents: explain paris

bijouphillips.jpg

Model, actress and Scientologist Bijou Phillips told Paper magazine in their February issue that she isn't all that fond of antidepressant medications. In fact, she' think if you take them you need to man up and get the hell over it. The 28 year is is quoted as saying "My grandparents didn't take any pills, and they were fine. Just buck up and get over it. Stop being such a fucking pansy."

Is there a Scientology class where everyone just sits around and makes fun of depressed people? Do they drink jars of tears like Allison in the movie Cry-baby? If all the Scientologists took antidepressants would they cease to exist? No really, I wanna know. Stop being such a pansy and answer my questions!

mischa barton

Actress and lover of pot Mischa Barton celebrates her 23rd birthday today. Mischa just finished filming her role opposite Kal Penn and Martin Sheen for the film Bhopal: Prayer for Rain due out later this year, and as announced on her blog, is the new face of Herbal Essences hair products. Her film Assassination of a High School President which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2008 was picked up by Yari Film Group and will have a limited release in March of this year. Also in March, Mischa's horror thriller Walled In is expected for a straight-to-DVD release.

Happy birthday Mischa Barton. You don't look a day over 34!

shauna is a realdoll

The top picture is Shauna Sand on the beach this week in Miami. The bottom picture is one of those gross Realdolls that lonely dudes can bone, or whatever. Shauna, who is more known now for wearing those clear Lucite stripper heels everywhere than for being a former Playboy Playmate of the Month, has succeeded in turning herself into a caricature.

According to Make Me Heal's Plasticopedia Shauna has had breast implants, rhinoplasty, Botox injections, collagen injections in her lips, and probably had permanent makeup tattooed on.

All this is, of course, and excuse to post that not safe for work, not safe for the universe, not safe for life picture of Sahuna's nipslip last year. I'm not kidding. It's beyond NSFW. I hope you haven't eaten.

Don't click.

Elisabeth Moss

Actress Elisabeth Moss who plays Peggy on the hit series Mad Men has confirmed her engagement to SNL's Fred Armisen. Elisabeth said in a statement "It happened just a few days ago...It's private, so I don't want to share the details of how it happened, but I will say it was perfect."

All eyes will be on the two of them this Sunday at the Screen Actor's Guild Awards, where Elisabeth is nominated for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series. Kudos to the reporter on the red carpet who can get the proposal story out of her. "Private" is usually code for "boring" when it comes to marriage proposals.

latoya jackson

This is La Toya Jackson heading to the new musical Thriller Live in London. She may not look like a 52 year old due to some nose jobs, cheek implants, a brow lift, a ratty wig, regular doses of Botox and whatever the hell she did to her chin, but it's too bad there isn't any plastic surgery they can do to fix those hands. Yikes! It's like the icy reach of death is waving hello.

That rumor that your nails keep growing after you die... looks like it may be true.

Please Don't Leave P!nk

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Pink (or P!nk or Alecia Moore, or whatever you choose to call her) has released the music video for "Please Don't Leave Me". This is the third single off her Funhouse album. The song itself channels a Kim Carnes raspiness in her voice, but the video is a gem. An updated take on Misery, the film starring Kathy Bates about a number one fan keeping her favorite author captive while he is injured. Actor Eric Lively plays Pink's love interest.

And she's kind of skanking around in skimpy outfits, if that's your thing. Only kind of, but still.

kelly osbourne

24 year old Kelly Osbourne has entered rehab for the second time. Kelly, the daughter of Ozzy Osbourne, did a stint in rehab back in 2004 while filming the reality show The Osbournes for MTV. Back then it was for prescription pills. This time the reason hasn't been disclosed yet, but she's being treated at a retreat in Oregon and reportedly checked herself in.

This little vacation comes just after Kelly was released on bail after she smacked down a bitch and was jailed on assault charges. Here's hoping she actually gets well and this isn't an attempt at good publicity after her jail time.

"Her family stands by and supports her," said spokeswoman Caroline Barrett.

In case you needed definitive proof that Shia LaBeouf is the biggest douchebag on Earth, well here you go:

shia labeouf

sarah palin

In the last few weeks, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has been on the offensive, criticizing the way the media portrayed her and her family during the 2008 presidential election. Oh, you betcha she has! So it seems only natural that she'd want to use the media to portray her and her family the way she sees fit. Wait, what?

According to The Hollywood Reporter Sarah has hired Washington attorney Robert Barnett. This wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but this is the guy who brokered book deals for Barack Obama, former president Bill Clinton and and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. He has also handled television deals for Christiane Amanpour and Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

It's interesting that someone who has been so anti-media lately would even want a television or book deal. I guess all those rimless eyeglasses don't pay for themselves! There's been no comment out of the Governor's office as to why she's hired Barret, so we'll all have to wait and see how this pans out.

diane sawyer

During Good Morning America's post-inaugural coverage Wednesday morning, some people are speculating that the fabulous journalist Mrs. Diane Sawyer might have been a little tipsy while on-air. Was the slurring of words and general giddiness because she was still a little drunk from all the Obama Is In Office partying from the night before? And if so, did her collegaes not think to give her any vitamin B-12? And if so, you think they all were pointing and laughing? So many questions, so little time.

Personally, I think when you go on national television and say the only thing you can remember from the night before is seeing the Jonas Brothers, honey, you drunk.

Diane appeared on The Rachel Ray Show on Monday, and spoke of how she was just a normal person having to work on inauguration day. Normal people party, amirite? Here's the video so you can be the judge.

Nominations for the 81st Annual Academy Awards, to be held on February 22nd, were announced this morning.

Lead Actor:
Richard Jenkins for The Visitor
Frank Langella for Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn for Milk
Bead Pitt for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler

Supporting Actor:
Josh Brolin for Milk
Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman for Doubt
Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight
Michael Shannon for Revolutionary Road

Lead Actress:
Anne Hatahway for Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jlie for Changeling
Melissa Leo for Frozen River
Meryl Streep for Doubt
Kate Winslet for The Reader

Supporting Actress:
Amy Adams for Doubt
Penelope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis for Doubt
Taraji P. Henon for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marisa Tomei for The Wrestler

Best Director:
Davi Fincher for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Ron Howard for Frost/Nixon
Gus Van Sant for Milk
Stephen Daldry for The Reader
Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire

Best Picture:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

Here's video of the announcement of the nominees:

and you can see the full list on the official website here.

heath ledger

One year ago today, fangirls everywhere began building shrines to Heath Ledger, who passed away at the age of 28 due to an accidental drug overdose. Just a few months before his death Heath had finished filming what would become his Golden Globe winning portrayal of The Joker, the youngest actor ever in that role.

An upcoming Nick Drake tribute album is set to feature "Black Eyed Dog" covered by Heath, and it seems almost certain that the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor this year will go to him for The Dark Knight. It really is too bad he hasn't been around, these past few months would have been non-stop parties and fun.

Peace out, Heath Ledger. Don't worry, your Heathus Christ followers will no doubt sell out theaters when The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is released. (Johnny Depp being in that certainly doesn't hurt.) Rest in peace, wherever you are.

nodoubt.jpg

Grammy award winners No Doubt announced plans for a 2009 summer tour on their official website today. The tour will launch in May with Paramore as the opening band.

Gwen Stefani stated “The whole reason for going on this tour was to have fun, try on all our favorite songs again and to get inspired to make new music. It feels good to be all together again."

The Sounds, Janelle Monae and Bedouin Soundclash will open on select to-be-announced dates. This is the first tour since 2004 when No Doubt played with Blink 182. Shows will include both the United States and Canada.

Hey baby, hey baby, hey!

liloandsamro.jpg

Britain's Daily Express is reporting that Mean Girls star Lindsay Lohan and girlfriend Sam Ronson have taken a huge leap of trust in their relationship by opening a joint bank account. Nothing can stave off trouble in paradise rumors faster than a joint checking account, right Linds?

Sources say that Sam is very generous with her money when it comes to Lindsay and LiLo wants to return the favor.

This can't end well. Lindsay is only 22, it's not like she's in her early to mid 30's and ready to settle down the way Samantha is. I predict some sort of lawsuit over financial matter between these two about this time next year. Thought, if Lindsay takes some of that joint account money and spends it on bras to wear while out in public, we're all winners.

Diddy Heads To CSI: Miami

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thetruthd21ss0.jpg

CSI: Miami, the best show in the history of television, will have a very special guest star for it's February 9th episode. Sean "Diddy" Combs will play a defense attorney who..... *long dramatic pause*..... may be involved in a cover-up. YEEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!

About the role, Diddy told MTV "I play this lawyer, almost all the time I get everyone off. It's like, I set up one of my clients to get off one of my other clients, but nobody's sure if I'm a good guy or a bad guy."

Will Horatio Cane be wearing sunglasses? Will everything be colored yellow and gold and the color of sunshine? Yes? Then that's really all I care about.

CSI:Miami airs Mondays on CBS.

evamendes.jpg

The Spirit actress Eva Mendes is the most desirable woman in the world. This is according to the website AskMen.com, where Eva tops the list of the Top 99 Most Desirable Women. Why Eva? They say she is such a quintessential girlie-girl that you just can't take your eyes off of her. Last year she came in at #4 on the list, so her 2008 stint in Cirque Lodge rehab facility must have put her sexiness over the top. Readers cast over ten million votes for this year's list, which was just released today.

Rounding out the top ten are Transformers actress Megan Fox, model Marisa Miller, model Keeley Hazell, Anne Hathaway, Alessandra Ambrosio, Scarlett Johansson, Rihanna, Kristen Bell, and Kate Beckinsale.

michelle obama

First Lady Michelle Obama wore a gold and yellow brocade dress by Cuban-born designer Isabel Toledo for her husband's presidential inauguration today. Isabel Toledo is based in New York and attended Parson School of Design back in the day. She's been in the business for over 20 years, working both as the creative director for Anne Klein and on her own.

The yellow sheath was made of Swiss wool lace, backed with netting and lined in French silk. The sparkle at the neckline perhaps a bit too cocktail for a noon event, but otherwise lovely.

"I wanted to pick a very optimistic color, that had sunshine," said Toledo in a phone interview to The Huffington Post.

For the first dance with her husband as President and First Lady, Michelle wore a white, one shoulder gown designed by Jason Wu. The chiffon floor-length gown will be donated to The Smithsonian, as is tradition, to join the exhibit of First Lady inaugural ball gowns. Manhattan-based Wu also attended Parsons in New York for his design education.

"First of all, how good-looking is my wife?"
President Obama asked the cheering crowd Washington's Convention Center.

Of course she's beautiful. She glows! With a love of color and a fresh face, it'll be fun to watch the First Lady's fashion for the next four years and beyond.

In case you missed it, here's the Obamas' first dance, with "At Last" sung live by Beyoncé . If there was an award for most adorable couple in the universe, they'd win it for sure.

President Obama's inspirational inauguration speech was everything that I thought it would be. Very poignant and relevant.  The following is a mix of Barack Obama's speech set to what sounds like porn music. Enjoy the beat as Obama makes sweet sweet love to the english language.

kal penn

I have this crazy, uncontrollable crush on actor Kal Penn. Oh yeah, you read that right, Kumar from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. Taj from Van Wilder. Gogol from The Namesake. Edward from Epic Movie. I'd let the man do things to me that are probably seven different kinds of illegal. I mean look at him. Look at him!

So seeing these pictures from the end of the "We Are One" concert to celebrate President Obama's inauguration, as you can imagine, is like the shine on the cherry on the icing on the cake of today. In or around my mouth please Kal!

Filming in India for his next film Bhopal: Prayer for Rain with Mischa Barton and Martin Sheen is just wrapping up. Then work can begin on his next project, me.

obama and kal penn

*swoon*

swearingin.jpg

Yes we did!

In front of over 2 million spectators at the National Mall in Washington DC, Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th president of the United States.

"I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors."

Taking the oath just after noon EST, President Obama used the Lincoln Bible for his swearing in.

The text of the full speech can be read here.

Tom Hanks Couldn't Party

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Daily News is reporting that America's beloved actor Tom Hanks wasn't able to make it inside into a party in Georgetown yesterday. The Washington DC area is packed for the inauguration of President Obama. This party at New York Times columnist's Maureen Dowd's home, which incidentally is the former bachelor pad of JFK, was so packed that Tom just couldn't get in.

Joking, he turned to the crowd outside and yelled “She’s stopped giving out free hot dogs, people! Go back!” Talking a bit in the cold with peeps who couldn't get in, Tom then got in the car with his family and left. How cold was it? Well today foretasted high is 23°F. 23°F! With temperatures like that you're better off finding a space heater and a bottle of bourbon.

Celebrants who were able to make it into the author's party include Tom Brokaw, George Lucas, Arianna Huffington and FBI Assistant Director John Miller.

radiohead

According to nme.com Radiohead's old record label EMI is preparing to re-release the band's first three albums. The re-releases of Pablo Honey, The Bends and OK Computer will include demo tracks and rare songs and should be available this spring.

As much as I am sure Thom Yorke and the rest of the band are against this, as they were with the Radiohead: The Best Of CD from last year, fans might be excited. Banana Co. is a great song that more people should be aware of! Some of the rare tracks may also be played on Radiohead's tour of South America this year. I've personally seen True Love Waits performed live twice. Perfection!

Full bonus track listing after the jump.

Here's a video of Julia Roberts going off on some paparazzi who were following her in Venice, CA last week. She gets out of her car, says "You need to get the fuck out of my face, you understand me?" and informs the videographer that she has his license plate number. She adds "Fuck off! Aim higher, get a life get away from me!" before heading inside to presumably pick up her children. Not such a Pretty Woman here.

In defense of the paps, this is their job and he was not on the property. Yes, it's just a snip of video and anything could have happened before or after, but she did give him what he wanted - something to blog about. And here it is.

Julia's next film Duplicity will hit theaters in March, 2009.

Paul Blart #1 This Weekend

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paulblart.jpg

Paul Blart: Mall Cop came in #1 at the box office in the US this weekend bating out Gran Torino, My Bloody Valentine, Notorious and Hotel For Dogs.. I know, I know. I was actually one of the people who contributed to the $31,800,000 gross it brought in. I know, I know. Sometimes you are just in the mood for some mindless fun. Unfortunately this film wasn't really all that fun.

Kevin James plays Paul Blart, an overweight single father who has a problem with hypoglycemia, had a wife who left him after getting her green card, lives with his mother and is consistently made fun of by his coworkers. This is all supposed to be funny, and maybe on paper it is, but in execution it just came off as sad. Looking at the protagonist as a pathetic loser without being able to sympathize made watching very uncomfortable.

Jokes that should have been no-brainers, like the Devil's Crotch hot sauce complete with illustration, got little more than a chuckle from the mostly full theater I was in. It's really hard to laugh at the main character rather than with him.

Twist ending that didn't matter and a predictable love story that just wouldn't happen in real life. Maybe if you happen to be stoned and you happen to have $12 you need to get rid of and an hour and a half to kill, then perhaps a recommendation is warranted. Everyone else, just no.

You can check other box office results at http://www.boxofficemojo.com/.

Happy Birthday Dr. King

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January 19th 1929 marks the birth date of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  One of three individuals important enough to have a national holiday, He was paramount in organizing racial prejudice in the United States.

While most people assume that this was a victory for only African Americans, the fact is... the laws that Dr. King helped bring about is not just a Black and White issue.

King became the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize on October 14, 1964.

Here is a video of Dr. King's famous "I have a dream" speech found on Youtube:

How do you think Blake Feels?

Last week, one of Hugh Hefner's former girlfriends Kendra Wilkinson admitted to cheated on Hef while living at the Playboy Mansion. She gave a phone interview to E! to apologize for opening her mouth saying "I'm very upset at myself," adding "I know in my heart that I will always love Playboy." It sounds a little like the Playboy company was none too happy with Kendra.

Her wedding to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett is scheduled for June 27, 2009.

Among rumors, rumors, rumors that there might be a very Smithy reason to buy Coachella tickets this year, the official video for Morrissey's "I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris" has been released. His next album is due for a mid-February release. Enjoy.

the princess and the frog

This is newest promo still for Walt Disney Pictures' upcoming feature film "The Princess And The Frog" due out in theaters on Christmas Day, 2009. This film marks a return to 2D animation and will introduce Princess Tiana, the first African-American Disney princess. If this still is any indication, the film looks lovely.

Tiana, voiced by Tony Award winner Anika Noni Rose, will join Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pochontas and Mulan in the official Disney line-up of Princesses. Though, Mulan was a regular citizen and the only daughter of a war veteran which is why she had to go to war in the first place, and even after she married Li Shang in Mulan II she wasn't really a princess but a Captain's wife, but eh, what do I know? She's in the princess line-up and that's that.

You can check out the official The Princess and The Frog website here with more about the cast and crew and the film synopsis.

Here's the teaser trailer:

mac hello kitty

MAC Cosmetics and Sanrio have teamed up to bring you the Hello Kitty MAC Collection. It'll hit MAC's website on February10th, retail stores on February 12th and overseas stores in March.

“We incorporated glitter eyeliners because she loves anything that twinkles, and we took the coral and hot pink theme and did pretty, poppy blush,” said said Jennifer Balbier, senior vice president of product development for MAC Worldwide.

The collection will actually fall into two categories, the Hello Kitty Colour Collection and Hello Kitty Kouture. Prices will range from $14 Lipglass to $28 Dazzleglass to $90 Sheer Mystery Powder and products will be available for a limited time of about 8 weeks.

Well, now I know what I want for Valentine's Day. My ovaries are ready to explode in anticipation! The packaging would have been so much cuter in white with red accents, like Hello Kitty herself, but beggars can't be choosers. I'll take one of each!

Madonna In A White Outfit

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Hey Madonna, please take note of something everyone else in the world seems to realize except for you: you are 50 years old! This shit was cool when you were in your 20's, but now it's just gross. Please stop. You have children who would rather gouge their own eyes out of their heads than see you pose like this. In fact, no one wants to think about your crotch anymore or see your nipples anymore.

OK, just in case, there's a Madonna nipslip after the jump.

Look, it's Jaleel White!

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jaleel white

Just in case you were sitting around today saying "I wonder what that Jaleel White guy who played Urkel on Family Matters looks like now?" I got you covered. That's him at last night's UCLA basketball game. Have a nice day.

With the inauguration just two days away, Comedy Central did a search of their archives to find out who was the first stand-up comic to do a Barack Obama joke on their network. They found a clip of W. Kamau Bell on Premium Blend in 2005 talking about how Obama's name sounds too black to be president. Check out the clip.

I've been lucky enough to see this guy in person (and am going again next week) and he's outright hilarious. If you happen to be in the San Francisco Bay Area you can catch W. Kamau Bell's stand-up at The SF Playhouse through February 28th. http://www.wkamaubell.com/ for more info on show dates and times.

boy george

Singer Boy George was sentenced to 15 months in prison today after being convicted of false imprisonment of a male escort. The "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" singer, whose real name is George O'Dowd, handcuffed Norwegian escort Audun Carlsen to a wall in his London apartment for just under an hour and is said to have beat him with a chain.

Boy George's lawyer stated to the judge "This defendant is a kind and generous man who is particularly mindful of others' needs. He is the antithesis of the haughty bullying star. He was not himself when addled by the habitual and relatively long-lasting using of illegal drugs."

Today's sentencing was handed down at Snaresbrook Crown Court in East London. 15 months behind bars is a pretty long time. Do they really want to hurt him? Do they really want to make him cry?

shakira

Shakira's next album is going to be off the hook! The Hips Don't Lie singer has recorded with Pharrell Williams and Wycleff Jean for her album due out later this year. A duet with Calle 13 will also be included and sources say that a track with Khaled may be in the works. This will be the first album since 2005's Oral Fixation set, and it's about time!

Shakira will also be among the performers this Sunday at We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration At The Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. Presented by HBO on January 18th from 7-9PM EST, this event is free and open to the public.

Other performers include Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Bono, Garth Brooks, Sheryl Crow, Herbie Hancock, John Legend, Usher, Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, will.i.am, Stevie Wonder, and John Mellancamp. Looks like 2009 is starting out just wonderful for Shakira!

katie holmes

Mrs. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, is modeling for Miu Miu now. Her ads are way, way, way, way over-Photoshopped to the point where she's almost unrecognizable. Squint and you'll see a resemblance. And the hand in the flame is supposed to be... what, dramatic? Avant-garde? Fashionable? It looks ridic. This is more an ad for Adobe products than it is for Miu Miu. Can she please go back to Broadway so these ads can stop?

By the way, does that dress come in blue?

Holy crap!!!

plane in river

plane in river

A U.S. Airways plane crashed into the Hudson River in New York today after it did a hit and run on "one or more birds". Who the hell would have ever thought you'd actually need your butt-ugly yellow vest that can be inflated by pulling on the red tabs? Everyone was apparently rescued from the wreck, which blows my mind because had I been on that plane they'd be pulling my dead-from-heart-failure corpse from the wet innards of that Airbus.

The above photos were taken by a man aboard the Ferry that was responding to the scene, and were given to the world via Flickr. Fucking crazy!!!

Fear of flying? Intact!

jodie.jpg

Former Full house actress Jodie Sweetin wants everyone to know that's she's off drugs. For real this time.

Jodie told People magazine "There are a lot of things being said about my using that are not going on right now. I want to make it known that I am absolutely, 100 percent sober."

This quote comes in reaction to the heated custody battle she and estranged husband Cody Herpin are going through over their 9 month old daughter, Zoie. The couple are due in court on February 9, 2009 admist allegations by Herpin that Sweetin has completely fallen off the wagon.

I think I speak for us all when I say "How rude!"

vernebear.jpg

On the UK version of Celebrity Big Brother, Verne Troyer was made to dress up like a bear and eat a pot of honey. Former Liberty X pop star Michelle Heaton was also made to 'bear with it' but really, this is all about Verne.

He's, what, 9 inches tall? Hey producer of UK Celebrity Big Brother - I realize Verne is the size of a doll, but you do know that this is beyond humiliating, don't you? First his sex tape leaks, and now you make Mini Me dress up like a bear and eat honey on television? When he snaps and kills someone, their blood is on your hands. Believe me, a Verne Troyer murder rampage can't be that far off.

montalban

Ricardo Montalbán, best known as Mr. Roarke on the series Fantasy Island, passed away in Los Angeles today at the age of 88. Cause of death has yet to be determined, but at 88, chances are it wasn't a heroin overdose. Reports are that his daughter and nurses were with him at the time of death.

Ricardo acted in over 30 films during his career and had parts, both major and minor, on over 30 television shows. Any Planet of the Apes fan can tell you, he was one kick ass circus owner! And Khan in Star Trek II, fuggeddaboudit!

He remained a Mexican citizen throughout his life, though he lived in the United States. Devoutly Roman Catholic, a huge service is no doubt in the works.

Peace out, Ricardo Montalbán! Here's hoping all your fantasies come true on that big island in the sky!

barak obama

President Barack's Obama's official portrait has been released. It is the first presidential portrait to be taken with a digital camera. Hey, welcome to 2009 guys! Captured by Pete Souza, the new official White House photographer. Nerdy rumor has it that he used a 105mm lens on a Canon EOS 5D, no flash, and an ISO of 100. Sexy!

kendra

The Girl Next Door with the most annoying laugh, Kendra Wilkinson, is already dishing up on what it was like living at the Playboy Mansion as one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends. Kendra recently moved out of the mansion and is planning her wedding to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett. When asked about 'dating' Hef, she said "Besides the nights we went out, I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates."

So if there were no solo dates, who made sure her garden was well attended to? And by her garden, I mean her downtown. (That means her hoo-haw!) And by attended to, I mean with sexy-sex.

"I had to kind of sneak it" is the answer to that!

Kendra and Hank's wedding is planned for June, 2009 and is to be held at the Playboy Mansion with Hef giving away the bride. Time will tell if this interview puts a damper on those plans. You can read the rest of the interview in the print version of Us Weekly.

Amy Winehouse: Squirrel

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upside-down amy

The funniest, and probably truest, quote about Amy Winehouse on her never ending vacation in St. Lucia:

“We keep catching her crawling past bars, or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut.”

A squirrel without a nut? I do believe Oran "Juice" Jones sang about this very problem back in the 80's. (the payoff is at 4:10, last line in the song) Amirite?

posh for armani

Armani is magic! There's no other explanation fot why Victoria Beckham looks so good in these new underwear ads. Her poor boobs usually look like tupperwear bowls spray painted skin color and glued upside-down to her chest, but here as if by miracle they look normal and really nice. Her fantastic bod is also distracting (almost) from her terrible haircut. Knowing that Posh does not look like this up close and in person, this has got to be the work of Elven Armani Magic. Elven Armani Magic and 437 hours of Photoshop.

Now if we could just get this team of miracle workers to focus on Renee Zellweger, all would be right with the world.

lily allen.jpg

When Lily Allen was 18, she tried to commit suicide. This is according to her half sister, Sarah Owen, in an interview with Grazia magazine. Allegedly the LDN singer tried to slit her wrists when the relationship with her then boyfriend ended, and she spent some time in a clinic recovering.

Sarah Owen stated "She had no one to talk to about getting her first period or breaking up with her first boyfriend. Would it have been different if we'd been closer? Probably."

The predictions are now that Lily and her half-sister definitely ain't getting any closer after this interview. Riding the coattails of a famous sibling deserves a fist to the back of the head. How much does a Lily Allen suicide interview pay these days, anyway?

Click to enlarge

the afflecks

Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck. That's the name of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's brand new baby girl. I don't really get the double middle name thing, and poor Seraphina is going to have to learn to spell that when she hits pre-school, but hey, that's what nannies and tutors are for, right?

She was born January 6, 2009 and is the second child for the couple.

If U Seek Amy Radio Edit

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There's been a lot of to-do about the next britney Spears single If U Seek Amy, because it sounds like eff you see kay me. You know... f-u-c-k-me. And everyone was all "Oh my stars, how on earth can we put this on the radio?" Assuming, of course, that you first get over the fact that Britney Spears thinks everyone wants to have sex with her.

Well fret not FCC fans, the official radio edit is here, and they cut out the "if u" to make it playable. So now it just sounds like "seek amy" which is a-ok! Yay. Check it out for yourself.

jlh

Jennifer Love Hewitt, girl, just a little word of advice from one homie with hips to another -- baby doll tops that flare out at their widest over the widest part of your body do you no favors. It's just making you look gigantic, and you just made a big deal (no pun intended) out of not being gigantic, so let's put this back in the closet and only wear it on laundry day. And I know it wasn't laundry day, the ATM doesn't give out quarters. And you aren't supposed to leave the house in your laundry day clothes. Don't look at me like that. I'm trying to help you!

melanie c.

Gigantically pregnant former Spice Girl Melanie Chisholm celebrates her 35th birthday today. Perhaps best known as Sporty Spice, Mel C. has a very successful solo career, especially in Portugal, and is, seriously, about to pop any day now. So a very happy birthday to Mel C. and well wishes for her and Thomas Starr on their first child.

Here's the video for First Day Of My Life, one of her biggest hits. Yes United States, one of her biggest hits. No United States, we aren't the center of the world. Imagine that.

Golden Globe Winners

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kate winslet

Kate Winslet ensured her place in Golden Globe and pop culture history last night by becoming the third person to ever win two trophies for dramatic acting in the same night, one for Revolutionary Road and one for The Reader. It's about damn time! She stated in the interview room after the show "I really didn’t think I was going to win for Revolutionary Road. I really, really didn’t." These wins bode well for Kate for the upcoming Academy Awards to be held on February 22nd.

Here's the full list.

Best Picture - Drama
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Director
Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actor - Drama
Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler

Best Actress - Drama
Kate Winslet - Revolutionary Road

Best Picture - Musical/Comedy
Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Best Actor - Musical/Comedy
Colin Farrell for In Bruges

Best Actress - Musical/Comedy
Sally Hawkins for Happy Go Lucky

Best Supporting Actor
Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight

Best Supporting Actress
Kate Winslet for The Reader

Best Animated Feature Film
Wall-E

Best Foreign Language Film
Waltz with Bashir

Best Screenplay
Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire

Best Original Score
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Television Drama
Mad Men

Best Actor - Television Drama
Gabriel Bryne for In Treatment

Best Actress - Television Drama
Anna Paquin for True Blood

Best Television Musical/Comedy
30 Rock

Best Actor - Television Musical/Comedy
Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock

Best Actress - Television Musical/Comedy
Tina Fey for 30 Rock

amy winehouse

Back To Black singer Amy Winehouse claims she's finally kicked her debilitating drug habit, according to Britain's News of The World. Not alcohol, oh no let's be clear, just the drugs. The Grammy Award winning artist has been quoted as telling the paper "I've finally escaped from hell. I'm in love again and I don't need drugs. Look at me, I'm glowing! I haven't touched anything since I arrived and I feel the best I have in years."

Although Amy is married to her Blake Incarcerated (Blake Fielder-Civil, for those not in the know), the paper also quotes her as saying "For the time being I've just forgotten I'm even married."

Lots of topless pictures of Amy have been taken while she's been on vacation in St. Lucia, and the cutie she's been snuggling up to while there has been identified as 21 year old rugby player Josh Bowman. Is a divorce inevitable for Amy and Blake? Would you stay married in this situation, if you were either one of them? Yeah, didn't think so.

the bird and the bee

There's a weakness inside of me for cover songs. Some people devour Twinkies, some people smoke too much crack. Me, I listen to too many cover songs. It's a problem that usually had a bad, bad ending and I fully acknowledge that. (Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit, I'm looking at you!) So imagine how pleasantly surprised I was when I didn't feel like taking a rape shower after hearing Don't Stop The Music by The Bird and The Bee. They are an indie duo out of L.A. and peeps seem to love them and their yummy ear candy. One more cover for the collection!

Here's the embed so you can join in my addiction. You're welcome.

Paris Still Loves Benji

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benji and paris

Paris Hilton still loves her ex Benji Madden. In a new interview, the heiress praised the Good Charlotte guitarist by stating the following:

"I have never been treated so well in my life or trusted anyone like this. There is no one like him. I love him. He just really made me grow up and look at things more maturely during the time we were together."

The couple split this past November after Paris returned home from a trip to Miami. Statements like this seem to hint that he broke up with her, and not the other way around.

A word of advice... next time try not being such a vapid whore. Guys don't really like that so much.

courtney love

Dear Francis Bean,

Hi sweetie. Look, we all feel bad for you that Courtney Love is your mother. She's batshit crazy and the entire world knows it. If you make it to 21 without being convicted of matricide, it'll be nothing short of a miracle. That being said, if you have any idea what's going on in this blog post of your mom's, lemme know, k? Something about Kelly Ripa? And it was written at 5:00 in the morning! I need some help because I'm fresh out of Ketamine and it's a mystery to the world what this all means, and we need some insight. Thanks so much.

xoxo,
Rosa

p.s. I thought your suicide birthday party was kind of funny even if no one else did.



kelly "ipa"

i am not MAD at kelly rippa fpr gpds sake,. ' ihave okay once more,i have 98 pages pf akas,. and one of them is kelly ripa spelled in avariety of ways each one of the variances reveals a new set of addresses, kelly w ripa , kelly m conseulas, kelly IPA thats just one i thougt was funny, so ill be respinsible and send her her akas i dont quite get what it all means but hey im just a lil ole rock singer and whoever did my audio blog your a genius, except the burp[ing, cork

not made up, here's the original. Translation please. Francis Bean? Anyone?

dexter.jpg

Actor Michael C. Hall married actress and Dexter co-star Jennifer Carpenter this past New Year's Eve. Jennifer plays his sister on the hit Showtime series. She carried a bouquet of white roses (ed note: no blood splatter? yawn). The two have just finished filming the 3rd season of Dexter and are slated to walk the red carpet together at the upcoming Golden Globe awards.

Save The Sea Kittens

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ridiculous

PETA wants you to start calling fish "sea kittens". The idea is that kittens are really cute and no one would ever hurt one, so by calling fish kittens, you won't want to hurt them either. In fact, they have launched a whole website dedicated to trying to make you think that fish are too cute to eat.

Says PETA, "Sea kittens are just as intelligent (not to mention adorable) as dogs and cats, and they feel pain just as all animals do."

Really though? Because a Google image search for fish ain't all that cute. Admittedly, it was fun playing with the sea kitten maker. See how he has a bowl of water, yet he's underwater? I named mine Ridic, after this whole situation.

jewel

As president of the I Didn't Even Know Jewel Had Implants club, let me say what a surprise it was to see that not only does Jewel actually have implants, but they looked a little funky at the People's Choice Awards in Los Angeles last night. Membership in my little group is really going to drop off after this.

The Foolish Games singer is currently working on a lullaby album with musician and producer Jason Freese. No word on her work in the buy-some-turtlenecks-to-cover-that-up department.

It's entirely possible that she was using double sided tape to hold her dress in place, but that seems like a very unlikely place to put it. Double sided tape is used to stick one thing to another (dress to skin, dress to slip, bra strap to dress, etc.) and if placed where that rather large dent in Jewel's chest is, it wouldn't really be sticking anything to anything else. The more you know!

kanyewest

This is Kanye West on the cover of February's Vibe Magazine. This is Kanye West's blog post in reaction to the cover of February's Vibe Magazine:

I DON'T HAVE GREY IN MY BEARD IN REAL LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M ALL DOWN WITH BEINGS IN MY 30'S BUT DAAAAAAAAMN!!!! THIS IS SOME BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT!

Benjamin Button's shit indeed! On an unrelated note, I wonder if Kanye can tell the difference between the color grey and light reflections on clean hair? I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say no.

lisarinna

There's no denying that Lisa Rinna has a bangin' body. She's slated to pose for Playboy again soon, her first time was back in 1998. She was on season 2 of Dancing With The Stars and looked fantastic. However, when you look up and check out her cheeks, something seems a little... off. Apparently it's Juvederm all up in there.

"My cheeks. I had Juvederm put in my cheeks. That's what I overdid -- big time," Rinna, 45, tells the Web site momlogic.com in a new interview.

The Melrose Place actress still likes Botox though.

nikki cox

Hey, remember actress Nikki Cox? She used to be really hot and was on that show Unhappily Ever After that wasn't totally terrible. She was also apparently on Las Vegas, a show I've heard of but never actually watched.

The above picture was taken at the 2009 People's Choice Awards last night. Two things you should learn from this picture: Don't ever piss off a plastic surgeon, and she's only 30 years old.

That is all.

Happy Birthday Elvis!

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elvis

On January 8th, 1935 in Tupelo, Mississippi Elvis Aaron Presley was born. He became a worldwide cultural icon. People can now just say "The King" and we all know who they are talking about. They are talking about Elvis! 31 movies, 18 number one songs and 1 Federal Agent at Large appointment later, Elvis remains pop culture's King.

His song Viva Las Vegas is all over the Viagra commercials, and A Little Less Conversation is on a ton of movie soundtracks. Teddy Bear was used to sell Teddy Grahams (delicious, delicious Teddy Grahams) back in the 90's. Can't Help Falling In Love With You has been covered by Ingrid Michaelson, Rick Astley, UB40, Kenny Rogers, and Julio Iglesias. Blue Suede Shoes is a cheat code for Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Elvis, Elvis, everywhere you go. Couldn't have it any other way!

Happy Birthday Elvis! Love you!!!

witless protection

The Razzie Awards honor the worst that Hollywood has to offer. Traditionally held the night before the world famous Academy Awards, the Razzies have been going strong since 1980.

The 2009 nominations for this year's Razzie awards have been announced. My personal choices for worst picture and worst actor are Witless Protection and Larry the Cable Guy, respectively. Did you know that anyone can (for a fee) get a membership in order to vote? Truefax. This year's nominees are:

Worst Picture:
Speed Racer
Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans
The Day the Earth Stood Still
High School Musical 3
The Hottie & The Nottie
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
The Love Guru
Postal
Rambo
The Happening
Meet Dave
Witless Protection (trailer, so you can share my pain)

Worst Actor:
Zac Efron
Dane Cook
Larry the Cable Guy
Eddie Murphy
Al Pacino
Keanu Reeves
Sylvester Stallone
Tom Cruise (Valkyrie)
Will Ferrell
Ashton Kutcher
Mike Myers
Adam Sandler
Mark Wahlberg

Worst Actress:
Paris Hilton
Jessica Alba
The cast of “The Women”
Camilla Belle
Cameron Diaz
Kate Hudson
Diane Keaton
Jennifer Connelly
Zooey Deschanel
Vanessa Hudgens
Eva Longoria-Parker
Reese Witherspoon

New Lupe Fiasco

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lupe outsidelands

Hip Hop Saved My Life singer Lupe Fiasco announced his plans to retire from the rap business last year. However, he's back(?) now with a fake British accent in a band named Japanese Cartoon. He's still working on his final album as Lupe, titled LupE.N.D, but here we get a glimpse into the next chapter in his musical life. Allegedly. I must add that he has yet to confirm any of this. Rumor also has it that he's now going by the name Percival Fats. I don't like that. What a fiasco! What a Lupe Fiasco! (See what I did there?)

Here's the single titled Heirplanes, for your listening pleasure.

ann coulter

Batshit crazy columnist Ann Coulter went in the Today Show this morning to sell her new book Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America. She apparently feels that no publicity is bad publicity, and argued with Matt Lauer about referring to president elect Barack Obama not as everyone else does, but as B. Hussein Obama and attacked the children of single mothers.

"Children raised without fathers are filling up the prisons, are, um, 70 percent of the teenage runaways, um, of, of teenage pregnancies, of rapists--"

Video at the link. The whole video is a gem, but the diamond is at 3:18.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/28537146#28537146

madonna

In what is probably the grossest advertisement in history, 50 year old Madonna is using her crotch to sell Louis Vuitton bags. The appeal isn't readily apparent, unless LV is going for a huge "WTF?!?" Though both Madonna's funbags and LV's handbags are made of leather, so the move makes some sense.

Remember when Sheena did that on America's Next Top Model?

sheena antm

Madonna, you're such a biter. Sheena was adorable. You, not so much.

Seems the paparazzi caught up with 90210 actress Shenae Grimes outside of Katsuya in Hollywood. In case you've never seen the show but have seen all the gossip blog pictures, she's the old looking one who is constantly working out.

Turns out she thinks that Jett Travolta's death is "amazing" and that being asked about the circumstances surrounding it is "political". I'm pretty sure that she meant his death is sad and that being asked about the circumstances is controversial or inappropriate, but that's not what she said, so we all get a nice laugh.

Someone get this girl a tutor, stat!

2009 PGA Nominees Announced

the dark knight

The nominations for best picture for the 20th Annual Producers Guild of America Awards, to be held on January 24th in Hollywood, have been announced. They are:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (trailer)

Frost/Nixon (trailer)

The Dark Knight (trailer)

Milk (trailer)

Slumdog Millionaire (trailer)

Note: this is for best producer, not best actor or best costuming or anything like that. Still, these awards are usually a crystal ball for the Oscars, which doesn't bode well for Golden Globe contender Doubt. Wait, what? You haven't seen Doubt? Do yourself a favor and go.

Sending out our S.O.S

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Morse Code

January 6, 1838 Samuel Morse successfully tests his Electrical Telegraph. This simple device would become the basis for the near-light speed communication that we take for granted today.

Morse Code was developed by Samuel Morse's assistant, Alfred Vail.  Since its creation, it has embedded itself into history, finding its way into movies, music, and art.

 An SOS is a distress signal in Morse Code, and is probably the most well known symbolic transmission in Mose Code. Here is a playlist of songs referencing the S.O.S. signal.

Morrissey

The one and only Morrissey has a new single out for peeps to adore. I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris should be seen as a nod to Parisian architecture and loneliness, not as a masochistic need to catch herpes from American's least favorite heiress.

Enjoy.

Or click here: http://www.myspace.com/morrissey

Tara Reid Still In Rehab

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Tara Reid

Despite published reports, former Wild On host Tara Reid is not home and is still kickin' it in rehab at Promises in Malibu, CA according to a statement from her publicist. Rumors are abound that Tara got a free stay at Promises in order to stir up publicity for the facility.

Promises has stated "The suggestion that Promises would search Hollywood for a celebrity who needs rehab in an effort to garner publicity is libelous, offensive and without any basis in reality."

Not-uh and Yes-huh are the two schools of thought on the situation while Tara's treatment continues.

britney's twitter

"Hi Y all. Brit Brit here, just wanted to update you all on the size of my vagina. It's about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth"

A new update on Britney Spears' Twitter account either has the poor girl coming out of the vagina dentata closet or her password was just too easy to guess and someone updated for her. Either way, it's funny and worth sharing. Brit-Brit's got a 4 ft. wide vagina, y'all.

A hint for Britney's handlers: use a combination of letters AND numbers! Passwords are harder to guess that way.

Lourdes To Be An Actress

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lourdes

Ray of Light singer Madonna's pre-teen daughter Lourdes has enrolled in Manhattan’s Professional Children’s School in order to become an actress, sources say. Macaulay Culkin, Scarlett Johansson and Sarah Jessica Parker have all attended the same school, and while no word is out yet on Lourdes' acting ability, we can all cross our fingers that one of the required classes is "Madonna Filmography: What NOT To Do".

Good luck Lourdes. Looking forward to your first d-list horror film.

Peace Out, Jett Travolta

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jett travolta

16 year old Jett Travolta, son of Pulp Fiction star John Travolta, passed away today while on vacation with his family in the Bahamas. Jett reportedly suffered a seizure at Old Bahama Bay Hotel on Grand Bahama Island which resulted in a fall and a head injury. Attempts were made at the scene to revive him but were unsuccessful.

Nothing but wonderful things to say about this family. Having had the pleasure of meeting them once while working in Florida, I wish everyone well.

Peace out Jett Travolta. May you fly first class to that airport in the sky.

Angels and Demons, a book by author Dan Brown, is ready to hit theaters as a sequel to The Da Vinici Code, also a novel by Dan Brown.

Tom Hanks returns to the starring role as Robert Langdon. Also starring Ayelet Zurer and Ewan McGregor. It's a much better book than The Da Vinci Code, taking place in Vatican City and centering around the Illuminati and the election of a new pope, so let's hope it makes a much better movie. Tom Hanks' hair already looks better, so here's hoping.

DJ AM's New Girlfriend

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DJ AM

DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, aka one of those guys who survived that plane crash, is not with Mandy Moore as rumored all over the internet. Rather, he's dating American Apparel model Hayley Wood.

Sources say they started dating on Halloween and despite Mandy Moore rushing to his side after the plane crash, she and AM just remain platonic friends.

About Hayley, according to Page Six, one of AM's friends stated "This time it's for real. He really likes her and wants to start introducing her to more of his friends."

Tia Carrere

Actress Tia Carrere celebrates her 42nd birthday today. She's the voice of Nani in Lilo & Stitch and appeared on season 2 of Dancing With the Stars.

Here she is in the only thing anyone really remembers her for, Ballroom Blitz in Wayne's World.

Happy birthday Tia! I talk smack, but she looks fantastic. Look for her soon in Wild Cherry with Rumer Willis, Rob Schneider and Kristin Cavallari. (but for real, this is what she's known for. party time, excellent)

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of driving to Jack in the Box just to scarf down 2 tacos for 99¢ and a Sourdough Jack at midnight, I am here to tell you that it is one of the best things in life. The most delicious 1030 calories you can stuff in your mouth.

So imagine the wondrous joy at seeing the man himself, Jack, atop a disco float in Pasadena at the 2009 Tournament of Roses parade!

jack1.jpg

jack2.jpg

BRB, gonna go buy a burger. And a 3 Piece Egg Roll. And Seasoned Curly Fries. And a Breakfast Jack!

Fast food should be a requirement in every parade.

During her live New Year's Eve coverage with Anderson Cooper, Kathy Griffin yelled at a heckler "I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!"

She's fantastic, and CNN should have expected it. That's the risk you are taking when you hire Kathy. Why is this news? Because it's hilarious, that's why.

Happy 2009 everyone!

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