April 2009 Archives

Lindsay Lohan is not only bad to her red hair, thank the Lord In Heaven, but she's also game to poke fun at herself and her life. Funny or Die, which has been more miss than hit lately, just posted this eHarmony parody ad starring LiLo.

Now all she has to do is put some weight on, stop hanging out with her 47 year old "younger" sister and talk Tina Fey into a Mean Girls sequel.

Peace Out Old Napster

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lars ulrich

Today in history, back on April 14th, 2000 Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich got a stick up his ass and sued file sharing site Napster, pissing off peeps everywhere. Ruining the fun of P2P file sharing, Lars and the rest of Metallica even went so far as to submit Napster usernames to the court of people who were sharing their music. Eventually Napster was found guilty of copyright infringement and shut down. Boo! Hiss!

Fast forward 9 years. Album 'leaks' are pretty common and most of the time done on purpose. You can now get 30 second samples of Metallica's music over on free.napser.com or you can just push the play button below. But you wanna be a fan? You better pay!

It's an Angels & Demons music video. Well... sort of. /Film just posted this video, which highlights the musical score for the upcoming Ron Howard directed film. You've seen The Da Vinci Code, right? Well, you know the music at the end, when Tom Hanks is kicking it at The Louvre and reciting that "the blade and chalice guarding o'er Her gates" poem - imagine that but longer and better and set to clips from Angels & Demons. That's what she said!

The movie is out in theaters on May 15th.

Pop Crunch is cracking me up today. They have a story about Miley Cyrus, which always brings the lol's. Today the Hannah Montana star talks about the 1951 classic Disney film Alice in Wonderland.

"It’s such a perverted movie. It’s all about Ecstasy. I swear! Look it up online," she is quoted as telling Teen Vogue.

You know what else you can look up online? Bukkake, nasty pictures of Erin Esurance and dumb quotes from Miley Cyrus. Hours of fun for everyone.

outside lands '08

The lineup for the 2009 Outside Lands Music festival in San Francisco has been announced. I'm already over it. Really, if you are still excited to see Pearl Jam and Dave Matthews Band, do us all a favor and get alcohol poisoning at your next frat party. Just, ew.

Headliners are Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band and the Beastie Boys. Incubus, Black Eyes Peas, M.I.A., The Mars Volta, Modest Mouse (for real, every time I've seen them I have yawned at least twice), Thievery Corporation and Jason Mraz are also playing.

If you're still awake after that lineup, you can see the rest of the bands on the Outside Lands website. The festival takes place August 28th, 29th and 30th. It's a good idea to make other plans now.

Surviving Encounters

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treasure island music festival

The website for San Francisco's Treasure Island Music Festival had been updated with dates for 2009. Keep October 17th and 18th open. Though no acts have been announced, there is a clicky box where you can enter your email and get show updates. Hoo-ray!

Last year's TIMF included Justice, Tegan and Sara, The Raconteurs, Goldfrapp and Vampire Weekend.

Photoshop Friday: iPeep

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Eggs enjoy Good Friday just as much as anyone else.


People magazine is confirming that Buffy The Vampire Slayer actress Sarah Michelle Gellar and her husband Freddie Prinze Jr. are expecting their first child. Sarah is due to give birth this fall.

Sarah and Freddie have been married for six years, and both are said to be working on television pilots. Congratulations to both of them!

the truth is hard to swallow

In a move neither Calleigh nor Delko saw coming, CSI:Miami actor David Caruso is being sued by the mother of his two children. Liza Marquez, David's now ex-girlfriend, is suing for fraud, intentional infliction of emotional distress, breach of contract and six additional charges, according to MSNBC.

Some of the funnier more serious allegation in the suit are that Liza says David called her a birthing cow, locked himself in a room away from her to watch Seinfeld reruns, had a secret stash of 70's porn magazines, suggested that she should have sex with a male prostitute and that he gave her a note after the birth of their second child stating that "reconciliation is not an option".

A rep for David responded to all of this yesterday by saying "Last month David became concerned about the welfare of his children and sought court assistance to redefine David’s and Liza’s custodial schedules. It now appears that Liza has decided to retaliate by raising false claims against David, which David finds unfortunate since these claims will divert the parties’ and the court’s attention away from the best interests of the children."

The one liner possibilities are really endless. Let's just say that things are about to heat up.... in court! Yeeeeaaahhhhhhh!!!!!

Also, I can't stop giggling at the stash of Horatio Caine's 70's magazines. Tee-hee-hee, for real.

Moon Trailer

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The trailer for the sci-fi film Moon is out, starring Choke actor Sam Rockwell and the voice of Kevin Spacey. As you can probably guess, it takes place on the moon. Things go awry right before homeboy is set to go home upon completing his 3-year mission. But let's be honest, it could be a 4 hour movie abut waiting in the dentist's office and if both San Rockwell and Kevin Spacey were in it, I'd be there. They both kind of rule.

no doubt

No Doubt have a brand new song. Well, brand new in that Gewn Stefani and company have released a cover of Adam and the Ants "Stand and Deliver" from 1981. It's OK, I like the original much better since it was totally 80's instead of just trying to sound totally 80's. If you've never heard the original, then you'll probably love No Doubt's version. It's catchy either way.


Eminem Made You

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Jessica Simpson, Bret Michaels, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Sarah Palin, Elvis Presley, Amy Winehouse and entire Star Trek crew is all here, if only in pardoy form, in Eminem's new music video for his single "We Made You." The song, eh, probably not his best work, but Eminem does a better Bret Michaels than Bret Michaels. See for yourself.

Kal Penn

I don't watch House so I could care less about spoiling anything, but if you care about OMG Spoiler Alerts! you probably are a boring fool anyway. I can't say for sure, I don't know your life, but come on now.

Onto the goods. Guess what Entertainment Weekly is saying! Sexy, sexy, sexy actor Kal Penn is leaving the show House (and acting altogether for a while) in order to work for the Obama administration. Kal asked the producers to leave the show when he was given this opportunity. He said:

I was incredibly honored a couple of months ago to get the opportunity to go work in the White House. I got to know the President and some of the staff during the campaign and had expressed interest in working there, so I'm going to be the associate director in the White House office of public liaison. They do outreach with the American public and with different organizations. They're basically the front door of the White House. They take out all of the red tape that falls between the general public and the White House. It's similar to what I was doing on the campaign.

Kal is taking a pretty big paycut to fulfill his political passion. Here's wishing him all the best on his new path. BRB, planing a trip to DC. Rawr!

Paparazzi video of "Bossy" singer and party girl Lindsay Lohan crying on the phone to Samantha Ronson in her garage taken on Saturday night.

You can hear Lindsay on the phone saying "That's so unnecessary Samantha! Those fucking paparazzi knew and you haven't told me. What the fuck is going on?" because the lock have been changed on the house, or she is saying "Samantha, don't fucking come around here if you have a new girlfriend, what the fuck is going on?" depending on which internet translation you believe. Then she mumbles something about Mexicans. We ruined her life I guess.

X17 says she sat in the garage for 30 minutes threatening to call the cops, but never did. On an unrelated note, cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Cherrybomb Trailer

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Rupert Grint. You know him as Ron Weasley from the Harry Potter films. Now you're about to know him as a sexy drug taking ginger. Due out later this year and costarring Robert Sheehan and Kimberley Nixon, you'll have to check out the trailer for his upcoming film Cherrybomb and see what you think of Rupert's break out from the wizard world. Merlin's Beard!

Stick Figure PSA

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Lily Allen at The Warfield in San Francisco, 4-04-09.

lily allen

lily allen

lily allen

lily allen

And here's Lily performing "Who'd Have Known". Check out her drink switch at 2:44, such a pro.

amy winehouse

"Back To Black" singer Amy Winehouse has decided that London is not the place for her right now. She reportedly boarded a plane back to her favorite vacation spot, the Caribbean Island of St Lucia yesterday in order to work on her new album. Amy, who had to cancel her appearance at the Coachella music festival this month after failing to secure a work visa, is hooking up with producer Salaam Remi for her newest work. MTV is also saying that she is looking to buy a home on the island as well.

Amy spent over 2 months vacationing on St Lucia earlier this year. So much talent squeezed into one person, here's wishing her all the best.

Cloris Leachman

Emmy award winning actress and former Dancing With the Stars contestant Cloris Leachman is in a new ad campaign for PETA. In it, she is dressed in nothing but lettuce leaves and wants you to "Let Vegetarianism Grow on You".

You may not like her as an actress, a dancer or even as a vegetable eater, but just be thankful that she'd rather get dressed in salad than wear fur. It was bad enough when Khloe Kardashian did it.

You can watch a behind the scenes video of Cloris' photo shoot here.

scarjo's globes

When Scarlett Johansson takes her globes out for a walk, it's easy to overlook her other features.

Atonement actress Keira Knightly is in a new ad to make people more aware of domestic violence. She plays an actress (a stretch, I know) who comes home from a day of filming and gets kicked in the stomach a lot by her boyfriend who doesn't like her making out with her costar for whatever fake film she's suppoed to be making.

The camera pans out and the ad says “Isn’t it time someone called cut?"

Maybe not the best casting choice? Who hasn't ever wanted to see Keira get the crap beat out of her? For all it matters, this could have been a Kool Aid commercial, with Keira laying on the floor and everyone else yelling "Oooooooh yeah!" while sipping huge glasses of purple stuff.

Domestic Violence is bad though. Guys, don't kick your actress girlfriends.

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian posted the above picture on her blog, trying to trick people into thinking she got a really big, really ugly tattoo today. On April Fool's Day. Except that it looks like that picture was taken at night and it was posted in the daytime. And also, her arms ain't that skinny. And also, she's a moron.

I hate today.

17 Again Clip

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The pretty girl from High School Musical, Zac Efron, and Lt. Dangle of Reno 911 fame have a movie coming out called 17 Again. Basically in the movie a guy in his 30's has some guru-type magic guy turn him back into his 17 year old self, and he goes back to high school. If you are old enough to remember Like Father Like Son with Kirk Cameron or Big with Tom Hanks than you've already seen this movie.

However, for those of you young enough not to have suffered those cinematic feats, here's a clip from Zac's film, which comes out in a couple of weeks. The reference to Kevin Federline is pretty funny, the rest I'll let you judge for yourself.

Britney For Candie's

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So this is one of a few pics for Britney Spears' new ad campaign for Candie's. The only thing it makes me want to buy is a hamburger and a new copy of Photoshop. What the hell happened to this chick's hips? Where did they go? And what about her shoulder and arm for that matter - nothing about this looks natural. But hey, if ignoring Photoshopping and sparkle pink bikinis are your thing, you must be 12 so ask your mom to take you to Kohl's so you can get one.


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