Now all she has to do is put some weight on, stop hanging out with her 47 year old "younger" sister and talk Tina Fey into a Mean Girls sequel.

Today in history, back on April 14th, 2000 Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich got a stick up his ass and sued file sharing site Napster, pissing off peeps everywhere. Ruining the fun of P2P file sharing, Lars and the rest of Metallica even went so far as to submit Napster usernames to the court of people who were sharing their music. Eventually Napster was found guilty of copyright infringement and shut down. Boo! Hiss!

Fast forward 9 years. Album 'leaks' are pretty common and most of the time done on purpose. You can now get 30 second samples of Metallica's music over on free.napser.com or you can just push the play button below. But you wanna be a fan? You better pay!

The movie is out in theaters on May 15th.

Pop Crunch is cracking me up today. They have a story about Miley Cyrus, which always brings the lol's. Today the Hannah Montana star talks about the 1951 classic Disney film Alice in Wonderland.

"It’s such a perverted movie. It’s all about Ecstasy. I swear! Look it up online," she is quoted as telling Teen Vogue.

You know what else you can look up online? Bukkake, nasty pictures of Erin Esurance and dumb quotes from Miley Cyrus. Hours of fun for everyone.

The lineup for the 2009 Outside Lands Music festival in San Francisco has been announced. I'm already over it. Really, if you are still excited to see Pearl Jam and Dave Matthews Band, do us all a favor and get alcohol poisoning at your next frat party. Just, ew.

Headliners are Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band and the Beastie Boys. Incubus, Black Eyes Peas, M.I.A., The Mars Volta, Modest Mouse (for real, every time I've seen them I have yawned at least twice), Thievery Corporation and Jason Mraz are also playing.

If you're still awake after that lineup, you can see the rest of the bands on the Outside Lands website. The festival takes place August 28th, 29th and 30th. It's a good idea to make other plans now.

If you encounter paparazzi:

- Remain Calm

- Stay a safe distance away.

- Scare it away by making noise.

- Do not play dead. Do not run.

- If they do not leave, move to a secure area. *

* A parked car in a garage is not secure

The website for San Francisco's Treasure Island Music Festival had been updated with dates for 2009. Keep October 17th and 18th open. Though no acts have been announced, there is a clicky box where you can enter your email and get show updates. Hoo-ray!

Last year's TIMF included Justice, Tegan and Sara, The Raconteurs, Goldfrapp and Vampire Weekend.

Eggs enjoy Good Friday just as much as anyone else.

People magazine is confirming that Buffy The Vampire Slayer actress Sarah Michelle Gellar and her husband Freddie Prinze Jr. are expecting their first child. Sarah is due to give birth this fall.

Sarah and Freddie have been married for six years, and both are said to be working on television pilots. Congratulations to both of them!

In a move neither Calleigh nor Delko saw coming, CSI:Miami actor David Caruso is being sued by the mother of his two children. Liza Marquez, David's now ex-girlfriend, is suing for fraud, intentional infliction of emotional distress, breach of contract and six additional charges, according to MSNBC.

Some of the funnier more serious allegation in the suit are that Liza says David called her a birthing cow, locked himself in a room away from her to watch Seinfeld reruns, had a secret stash of 70's porn magazines, suggested that she should have sex with a male prostitute and that he gave her a note after the birth of their second child stating that "reconciliation is not an option".

A rep for David responded to all of this yesterday by saying "Last month David became concerned about the welfare of his children and sought court assistance to redefine David’s and Liza’s custodial schedules. It now appears that Liza has decided to retaliate by raising false claims against David, which David finds unfortunate since these claims will divert the parties’ and the court’s attention away from the best interests of the children."

The one liner possibilities are really endless. Let's just say that things are about to heat up.... in court! Yeeeeaaahhhhhhh!!!!!

Also, I can't stop giggling at the stash of Horatio Caine's 70's magazines. Tee-hee-hee, for real.

No Doubt have a brand new song. Well, brand new in that Gewn Stefani and company have released a cover of Adam and the Ants "Stand and Deliver" from 1981. It's OK, I like the original much better since it was totally 80's instead of just trying to sound totally 80's. If you've never heard the original, then you'll probably love No Doubt's version. It's catchy either way.

Enjoy.

I don't watch House so I could care less about spoiling anything, but if you care about OMG Spoiler Alerts! you probably are a boring fool anyway. I can't say for sure, I don't know your life, but come on now.

Onto the goods. Guess what Entertainment Weekly is saying! Sexy, sexy, sexy actor Kal Penn is leaving the show House (and acting altogether for a while) in order to work for the Obama administration. Kal asked the producers to leave the show when he was given this opportunity. He said:

I was incredibly honored a couple of months ago to get the opportunity to go work in the White House. I got to know the President and some of the staff during the campaign and had expressed interest in working there, so I'm going to be the associate director in the White House office of public liaison. They do outreach with the American public and with different organizations. They're basically the front door of the White House. They take out all of the red tape that falls between the general public and the White House. It's similar to what I was doing on the campaign.

You can hear Lindsay on the phone saying "That's so unnecessary Samantha! Those fucking paparazzi knew and you haven't told me. What the fuck is going on?" because the lock have been changed on the house, or she is saying "Samantha, don't fucking come around here if you have a new girlfriend, what the fuck is going on?" depending on which internet translation you believe. Then she mumbles something about Mexicans. We ruined her life I guess.

X17 says she sat in the garage for 30 minutes threatening to call the cops, but never did. On an unrelated note, cocaine is a hell of a drug.